[lfjokes] Genderised nouns

[Simondo]

From: simondo <simondo at paradise.net.nz>

>From the Washington Post Style Invitation, in which it was postulated that
English should have male and female nouns, and readers  were asked to 
assign
a gender to nouns of their choice and explain their reason.

The best  submissions:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SWISS ARMY KNIFE: male;  because even though it appears useful for a 
wide
variety of work, it  spends most of its time just opening bottles.

KIDNEYS: female;  because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.

TIRE: male;  because it goes bald and often is over-inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOON:  male; because to get it to go anywhere you have to 
light a
fire under  it... and, of course, there's the hot air part.

SPONGES: female;  because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGE:  female; because it is always getting hit on.

SHOE: male; because  it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.

COPIER:  female; because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up.
Because it  is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are
pushed.
Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.

ZIPLOC BAGS: male; because they hold everything in, but you can always 
see
right through them.

SUBWAY: male; because it  uses the same old lines to pick people up.

HOURGLASS: female;  because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMER: male;  because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, 
but
it's handy  to have around.

REMOTE CONTROL: female; Ha!...you thought I'd say  male. But consider, it
gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without  it, and while he doesn't always
know the right buttons to push, he keeps  trying.