[lfjokes] The Reason for Children

[Simondo]

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they're our own,
grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make
you chuckle.  

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the 
thought that even  God's omnipotence did not extend to His own  children.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.  And the  
first thing he said was "DON'T!"   

"Don't what?" Adam replied. 

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said. 

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve.. we have  forbidden
fruit!!!!!" 

"No Way!" 

"Yes way!" 

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God. 

"Why?" "....Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, 
wondering  why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. 

A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and  He 
was ticked off !  

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked. 

"Uh huh," Adam replied. 

"Then why did you?" said the Father. 

"I dunno," said Eve. 

"She started it!" Adam said. 

"Did not!" 

"Did too!" 

"DID NOT!" 

"DID TOO!"  

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam  and
Eve should have  children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it
has never changed.  

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! 

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and
they haven't taken it,  don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble 
raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for
you?  

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT! 

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk  and
talk, then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut
up. 

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children. 

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young!! 

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for
word what you shouldn't have said. 

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind  yourself
that there are children more awful than your own. 

6. We child proofed our homes, but they are still getting in.  

ADVICE FOR THE DAY!  

Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home.  

AND FINALLY: 

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO   WHAT IT SAYS ON
THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"