[lfjokes] The Cave

[Simondo]

To: Team Mates 

Subject: The Cave 


Hi guys 

We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've really come 
together as a group and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting up 
the poster that says "There is no 'T' in team" as well as the Garfield 
that says "Hang In There, Baby." Very humorous.   

However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of
the cave and frankly I have a few concerns.  

First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we 
should be even more concerned about the carpet dust in our cave. We want 
to avoid excessive dust inhalation,(a health and safety issue) - so we 
need to sweep the cave daily, I've done my bit on the cleaning 
rota...........have you? I've posted a sign up sheet near the cave 
reception area (next to the halal toaster).   

Second: It's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying 
to scare most of the world population, okay? That means that while we're 
taping, please do not ride your razor scooter in the background or keep 
doing the 'Wassup' thing. Just while we're taping. Thanks.   

Third: Food. I bought a box of Dairylea recently, clearly wrote "Ossy" on 
the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, two of my Dairylea Slices 
were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.   

Fourth: I'm not against team chanting and all that, but, we must distance 
ourselves from the Westerner's bat and ball game. Please do not chant 
"Ossy Ossy Ossy Oi Oi Oi" every time I ride past on the donkey.   

Finally, we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise 
trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for 
them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar, and Dave.   

Love you lots, Group Hug.

Os. 

PS - I'm sick of having Osama's Bed Linen scribbled on my bed sheets - 
Cut it out Abdul, not funny anymore.