[lfjokes] Hu's onFirst

[Adam Shand]

  Via: Herr Nagengast <todd at gnosh.net>

a short bit stolen from Abbot and Costello and brought into the 21st
century:

Playwright Jim Sherman wrote this after Hu Jintao
was named chief of the Communist Party in China.
"Condi" refers to Condoleeza Rice, Bush's National
Security Advisor.

HU'S ON FIRST
By James Sherman

(We take you now to the Oval Office.)

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi:  Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi:  Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi:  That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi:  Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi:  Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi:  Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi:  Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi:  Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi:  I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi:  That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi:  Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi:  Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi:  That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi:  Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi:  No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi:  Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi:  No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get 
        me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi:  Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi:  You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi:  You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a
        glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi:  Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi:  Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi:  And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi:  Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi:  Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the
        guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on
        the phone.  (Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi:  Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should 
        send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get 
        Chinese food in the Middle East?